Are you committed - or do you just wish? by Krysta Gibson, Monroe, WA
Here's
the picture. You decide to make some changes to your life. Maybe you
want to start meditating every day, or doing yoga poses, or reading
uplifting books. Or maybe you want to make some changes in your working
life. What do you do when the water starts to rise in your boat or the waters get rough?
Do
you jump ship? Do you abandon your plans? Do you turn around and head
for home? Or do you stay the course and continue on no matter the
adversity you might face? It's one thing to say we're going to do something and it is quite another to follow-through.
One
of the things I've noticed is that as soon as I make the intention to
do or not to do something, there is an almost immediate pushback. I make
the decision to walk more every day and I fall and hurt my leg,
delaying my ability to walk the way I said I would. I decide to begin a
particular business project that requires research and suddenly
something else comes up that demands my time and attention. I have seen
this happen to other people so I know it isn't peculiar to me.
It's almost like there's a little gremlin that follows us around and as soon as we want to move in a particular direction, the little gremlin's job is to put barriers in the way. Perhaps it's just to see how serious and committed we are. I think I have found a way to deal with the gremlins. Here it is.
When we decide to make a change of some kind, we need to spend some time deciding how much we want whatever the change will bring us.
Do we want it a little bit or a whole lot? Do we want it enough to make
a commitment that will not be broken, no matter what happens? If we
want it just a little bit and if we aren't prepared to make a long-term
commitment, then it is probably better to wait for another time.
If we truly want whatever it is and we're willing to commit, the gremlin will still show up but it will be relatively easy to tell him or her to go away.
Another
tool to use is to make a list of all the reasons we do and don't want
to do something. Say someone decides to meditate daily. Sit down with
paper and pen, or open a file on the computer, and list the reasons why
you want to meditate daily.
That list might include:
Feeling peaceful more often
Able to concentrate my attention better
Able to deal with stress at work better
Help me on my spiritual path
Lower my blood pressure for better health
Now list the reasons you don't want to meditate every day:
Takes away time from doing other things
Others in my home will criticize me
I can't sit still long enough and get antsy
My mind is too active and I get discouraged
I am afraid of what I might experience
For each of the positive things on your list,
write more about how you will feel when this happens and how it will
impact your life in a positive way. What would it be like to be able to
feel peaceful at your core no matter what circumstances you faced in
your outer life? Write that down.
How would being able to concentrate better improve your life? How would it affect your ability to learn? To perform at work?
Continue
with each positive you wrote down until you have a good picture of the
benefits to making the commitment to meditate daily.
Do the same thing with the reasons you don't want to meditate every day.
Really investigate if what you wrote down is true. Will meditating
every day really take away from your time? Or will being able to
concentrate better give you more time during the day?
Question
the validity of the reasons you wrote down. If they aren't valid, cross
them off your list. If they are valid, think about how you can lessen
the impact of them.
The idea of this exercise is to give your gremlin a chance
to make herself known before you start on your project. Then you won't
be surprised when she shows up. You will have an answer for her because
you have already worked it out ahead of time.
When
you do this exercise, you might discover you really don't want to
commit to the project. That's fine. Now you know that and can delay the
project until such time as you are ready.
More
than likely, though, you will discover you really do want to proceed
and you will have discovered and dealt with the gremlin's objections in
advance, clearing the way for your success.
Many people are commitment-phobic. They fear making a commitment because they want to keep their options open.
"What if I start down this road and change my mind?" By spending time
on an exercise like this one before making the commitment you can be
sure it is what you really want, make the commitment and come closer to
living the life you want to live.
We live in exceptional times where the opportunities to better ourselves are almost constant.
It is one of the reasons we're here. Wouldn't it be nice to decide on a
course of action for ourselves and follow-through with greater grace
and ease? Spend some time allowing your inner gremlin to show her hand
before you begin your next project and see what happens.
Thanks to my good friend Krysta that we have this wonderful article....